Come to me my melancholy baby,
Cuddle up and don't be blue . . .
All your fears are foolish fancy, maybe
You know dear that I'm in love with you!
Every cloud must have a silver lining
Wait until the sun shines through
Smile my honey dear, while I kiss away each tear
Or else I shall be melancholy too!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sometimes a soundtrack plays in the back of my mind. I like to think this happens for everyone.
The picture above is of Cape Disappointment lighthouse on a terribly foggy day. I recognize it's a terrible picture but it haunts me. I might print it out and hang it somewhere, or even tuck it away, as a private reminder when I am feeling blue.
I've got a case of the doldrums right now and anxiety is creeping in. I've been trying to analyze the situation and I think it comes down to the fact that my baby is going into junior high. I'm not sure how my oldest child grew up to be this young adolescent.
I remember the day when he used to think Chris and I hung the moon. Every time we introduced him to something new he showed such complete and utter amazement and he was absolutely devoted to both of us. We could do no wrong. Where did that child go?
How do you let go of the joy that was when you are faced with a pre-teen who thinks you don't know much of anything? I know that little boy is still in there somewhere and I so want to enjoy this stage of his life but I am finding myself mourning for him.
Is this part of raising kids?
I heard some good advice today from an unlikely source. She told me, apropos of nothing, to let my boys be who they are. It may not be who we thought they would, or should, be but it is who they are and let them be just that.
I think-no, I know-she is right. Why, though, is it so hard?
Is this what my parents went through? I know I wasn't easy. I recognize a lot of the anger in B. that I had in myself at that age. I thought so much of mine was related to my parent's divorce but now I wonder if a lot of it isn't typical of the age?
So, if you see me and I seem a bit distracted, please note that I am feeling a little fragile at the moment.
